My biggest concern going into this whole ulcer treatment was Dee’s aversion to syringes. By aversion, I mean the moment she saw one, she immediately went on guard, and tried her best to hustle away without being rude.
Fair, her first interaction with them was not great back in 2023.
Last time I improved her aversion to syringes, she only liked molasses and carrots, so I made a molasses water mixture and syringed it into her mouth. Actually, now I remember, I was dipping the whole syringe into molasses, which was a very messy endeavor.
throwback serious Side Eye from 2023
Now, 3 years later, I have a wider range of flavor options available to practice with that Dee now approves of. First, we revisited applesauce, which was enjoyed, to an extent. I started by spending a whole session using treats to reward her for touching an empty syringe or letting me bring it up to her face. By the end, she was quiet when I held it up to her face, and I even started giving her treats through the side of her mouth so she was comfortable with something being put into her mouth.
The next session, I started introducing the syringe into her mouth with applesauce. At first, she was very wary of the syringe at the side of her mouth with something in it, until I put it to the front and squeezed a little out. And I could see the lightbulb go off in her head: “Oh wait, there is something yummy in there!” From there, she let me put it between her front teeth and took applesauce that way. From the side, it was still hit or miss, but I was happy.
I did make a fatal error toward the end: I was running out of applesauce, so I added water to dilute it and make it last longer, and then Dee decided it was trash and we couldn’t eat it. I even tried to let her lick the remaining non-diluted applesauce from the cup, and she was offended. So, note to self, applesauce only goes so far before we assume it’s poisoned.
Very polite, didn’t crush the syringe tip
The best part of that session was coming back after riding M, grabbing Dee’s halter, filling the syringe with water, and giving her a water “dose.” She evaded a little with her head, but wasn’t running away or backing up, so I called it a massive win.
M Interlude, she is the queen of queens
In the third session, I was out of applesauce. JM had suggested crushing up peppermints in a phone call earlier in the week, and I had brought my coffee grinder for grinding pills. I ground up a handful of peppermints and mixed them with water.
Trying to catch the syringe in her teeth
Dearest Reader, it was like I had handed my horse the elixir of life. She was chasing me for the syringe; at one point, she tried to catch it in her teeth and crack the whole thing so she could inhale it faster.
Trying to get the syringe in her mouth as fast as possible here
My fear was once we added the meds, she might struggle more, and I was right to a degree.
The first go, she was great, and then I got the look of, “What the hell, Mom?? That had something else in it!” I had no trouble doing it that day, and she did crack the syringe on Saturday for my barn manager, but my BM didn’t have too much trouble herself. Saturday, A insisted she do the evening dose to be sure she could do it, and the syringe jammed halfway through.
Half of dealing with Dee’s syringe aversion requires being quick. If it’s not obviously delicious, the longer it takes you to depress the syringe or get the tip in her mouth, the more agitated she gets. She starts fussing with her head, which usually looks like shaking it, trying to be extra tall, or contorting to avoid the syringe. Then you risk Dee accidentally clocking you with her head when she starts shaking it or snaking her neck.
A has a bad shoulder, which, when Dee starts fussing with her head, makes it much harder for A to get it in her. Add in a jammed syringe you have to use two hands to depress, and it becomes impossible. A feeds two mornings a week, so after the syringe jammed Sunday morning again for the sucrulfate, we started scheming an alternative.
I added some peppermint, the sucrulfate, and a teeny bit of replenimash to her dish, and offered it with low expectations. Dee licked it clean. I went Monday morning to do it again, and help with the omeprazole if it was an issue.
Not a single problem eating her meds since, and we swapped to doing the same for her omeprazole pills when that syringe started to jam too. The only problem was I broke a coffee grinder grinding up the peppermints, so those get the mortar and pestle and the replacement grinder is for pills only.
Her new stall setup seems to be working really well for her. It also works great to make sure she doesn’t eat anything between doses, since we can lock her in the main paddock until she’s cleared to eat or go out. At night she gets closed into the patio and stall, as her neighbor to the left (we’ll call him C) gets the runout at night, and she gets it during the day.
View from inside the stallGate out to paddocks
Although the brain cell is starting to hit that stage of “if I don’t do something, I will make my own chaos” that I regularly see. She got herself rolling in the grass paddock one day, enough to throw a shoe, and I watched her gallop up and down the paddock for fun another day. My barn manager also mentioned Dee has been baiting C to play with her over the fence, trying to establish dominance. He is smitten with her, so it’s an easy game to play.
She is innocent your honor.
To work on that little brain cell keeping itself contained, as a two-week break is a lot for her, I’ve started taking her out on walks on the trails. She stays behind me for most of the walk like we do for TRT and is quiet. And incredibly relaxed out there too. I’ve only had two reasonable spooky moments, one at the evil drain that she almost always does a giant splat spook at, and then when the neighbors were doing some heavy machinery.
Ran into one of the braver fawns
I think she’s also ready to go back to work, as I jogged her out on the trail one day, and after 3 jog sets, she was tossing her head and trying to trot past me to really go have some fun.
I’ve played with going back into the arena only once as of posting this. It just so happened to be the afternoon where a majority of the farm was at a show, and her one neighbor was in the ring with us, so the far side was concerning if I asked her to track left towards it, but not so bad. My vet asked that we only do light groundwork for her two weeks off, and I didn’t want to push it. It’s been a “don’t start a fight you can’t finish” kind of vibe.
I’ll be honest, dearest reader, I am a bit upset looking at her topline. Maybe it’s a summer thing, as I feel like every August/September I notice some pointiness about her shoulders, but she’s lacking muscle behind her scapula again.
At least this time it’s not due to poorly fitting equipment, and it’s much more likely due to a lack of consistent work with all her anxiety this summer. I also have to remind myself that in February, trudging through snow helped fill in that area. I need to go back to adding raised-ground poles to our sessions when we get back to them.
August 2026Feb 2026 for comparison
It just means I have to be on top of it again. I’m going to slowly start introducing work again this week after Wednesday, for two reasons. One, I think if I go a full 2 weeks since we started the misoprostol (delivered late), she might find some other chaos to entertain herself with besides baiting C and throwing a shoe. Second, her favorite driving aunties will be making a quick trip north to visit this weekend.
Last I left you all, we were tentatively making progress with Dee in terms of her comfort in work, and I was hesitantly optimistic we were on the right path.
To be honest, when I booked the vet appointment a few weeks ago, I was ready to tear my hair out. By the time we approached the eve of her scope, I was second guessing myself. We had more and more successful sessions in the indoor under our belt, we were making progress around the property, and I’d even ended the night out with my first real ride in the indoor with no drama.
PROOF!! OF RIDING!!!
But when it comes to ulcers, I’d rather sink the funds in on a scope to be told I’m crazy, and move on, than ignore it and find ourselves up shits creek later on.
If you have never done a gastroscopy before, or seen one, part of the process is a 14 hour fast prior to the procedure to have as empty of a stomach as possible, and water must be taken away 2-4 hours before. My vet office told me sometime between 9:30 and 11, so Dee had to be done with food at 7pm ish the night before. Many vets also reccomend muzzling your horse overnight to keep them from eating bedding or manure during their fast, so I picked one up. Every time she is hungry or feels she misses a meal, she gets frantic so I wanted to be safe rather than sorry.
I timed it so she had hay pretty much all afternoon if she wanted it, and then fed her right at 7. I didn’t intend to ride right before starting her fast, but that was how the cookie crumbled for me that day.
More proof, this time between the ears
I put her in a spare stall, and I told A (who was my emotional support riding buddy that night), “I might move her camera, I don’t trust her in the sall with the muzzle.” Literally 2 minutes later, Dee had found the one bucket hook I forgot about, hooked the muzzle on it, panicked, and broke it. Very glad she did it while I was still there, and not at 2am, so I prayed to the pony gods she would behave, and left her as is.
Not only was the quick release strap broken, she ripped the plastic so it’s not even useable
The next morning I arrived bright and early at 7am to remove her water. She nickered at me, with the very obvious expression of “Oh thank god mom, you’re here. Don’t worry if you forgot food, you can just feed me now it’s ok I forgive you” which then morphed into “Hey wait why are you feeding everyone else??? Wait a second?? Hey you forgot me?!”
Every time I walked past her stall, she nickered at me, begging for food. I felt incredibly guilty but she was a trooper regardless. I ended up doing stalls and chores to kill the time between arriving and when my vet came in, which kept me busy and within eye and ear shot of Dee.
When my vet arrived, she checked Dee’s eyes first. I think I had mentioned I wanted her eyes check to confirm it wasn’t an eye related thing, and the great news is, her eyes are in perfect health. Can’t rule out ghosts but at least her eyes are healthy.
Then, it was on to the scope. I have photos, but I wasn’t sure if that was something anyone wanted to see, so if the answer is yes, I’ll post them later.
Once she was properly sedated, the scope was expertly manuevered through Dee’s nose into her stomach. Once inside, my vet blew air into Dee’s stomach to inflate it, and then they were able to take a good look at what we were dealing with. Between the expert handling of the scope by the vet tech and the robotic machinery of the scope, they checked all regions of her stomach. My vet was wonderful at explaining everything we were seeing.
photo break – Look who was also a pro for ground driving?
She did mention Dee was well fasted, so gold star for us in that department. At first, I felt a little bit of relief; we’d only seen one or two little tiny 2 ulcers. Then my vet spun the camera to look at the upper portion of her stomach, and a pretty servere crater looking ulcer popped up on the screen and my heart sunk.
Dee has mild ulceration in her glandular region, (the lower portion of the stomach) and grade 2 and 3 ulcers in the squamous, upper part. The upper part is what is most susceptible to ulcers, as it’s the least protected for acid splash. I also found out the esophogeal tissue (after saying this once outloud, I now have a hard time saying esophogus correctly for some reason), extends into the stomach futher than humans do, so it is more suceptible to ulceration and where Dee had some of her worse ulcers.
Footnote: Squamous ulcers are graded on a scale of 1-4. Grade 1 is a thickening of the stomach lining, Hyperkeratosis, which appears as a yellow goo look to the tissue. Grade 2 are generally small lesions, little red dots where the lining has been irritated. Think road rash where you have those little red dots. Grade 3 are thickened, more angry looking lesions, these really do look like ulcers. Grade 4 is your pitted angry craters with obvious tissue erosion, irregular and inflamed.
On the one hand, I was glad we did the scope. Now I knew what we were working with, and why her reactions were SO strong in June, and why it’s taken her a while longer to settle and figure life out.
My vet is incredibly passionate about gastroscopys and ulcers, so it was informative to get more information from her, so let me back up and explain if you, Dear Reader, have never dealt with equine ulcers before. (if you have, feel free to skip to Dee doing her favorite trick)
Like I mentioned before, there are two types of equine gastric ulcers. Squamous ulcers afftect the upper region of the horse’s stomach, and glandular ulcers obviously appear in the glandualr region.
Squamous ulcers risk factors are stress, decreased access to forage, exercise, NSAID use, and excessive NSCs. When we give products like Ulcergard to horses before travel, this is what we are trying to protect against. Exercise also increases the risk, as when your horse is trotting, cantering, jumping, etc the acid splashes up into the squamous region, and burns that tissue.
Vetrinariany medicine understands the cause and treatment of squamous ulcers way more than glandular ulcers. Glandular ulcers still have many questions left to answer. In healthy stomachs, the glandular region is already pretty well protected with a “slime” layer of mucus and bicarb. This “slime” barrier heavily relies on good bloodflow to be produced and maintained, so the current thought process is in unhealthy stomachs there is a decreased bloodflow to the tissues that impacts the continuous production of the protective barrier. Thus, the barrier breaks down, and then poof – ulcers begin to develop.
Now what I did not know, is what the risk factors are for glandular ulcers. They are, number of days of exercise per week, pain from another source (teeth, hoof, muskuloskeletal, saddle fit, etc), behavioral stressors (lack of access to other horses, large number of handlers), and NSAID use. Let me wind back in that list, “Behavioral stressors, lack of access to other horses and large number of handlers.”
Who has serious seperation anxiety and spent the winter with just one other buddy?
This donut
I had no idea that was a factor, and it’s something we’ve ALWAYS struggled with. Also include the fact we’ve been dealing with saddle fit issues, hoof issues, etc, well it’s no wonder she has some glandular ulcers on top of it all.
So. Now what?
Thankfully, A stayed the whole scope, and was there when we went over the treatment plan. Because Deona HATES ulcergard/gastrogaurd, I didn’t want to shell out a whole treatment plan to have her spit half of it out. My vet and I opted for a different omeprazole than gastrogaurd first, and if they did not improve on rescope, we’d consider gastrogard. Omeprazole and sucrulfate for the squamous ulcers, and misoprostal for the additional support to the glandular ulcers.
We made an executive decision to move Dee to a stall for the future. Not only will it make medicating her much easier, it gives her even better access to other friends, and she can be locked inside for rain storms. I neglected to mention that one of the days in July, it rained all night and Dee’s hay was put in her shed. For some reason, she refuses to use it, so she got cold and wet overnight. Having her in a stall make me feel better moving into the colder months, and where she is living has a “patio” where she is still covered but can be outside. A assured me because her gate opens into a shared paddock, Dee and her buddy can rotate, and she will go out on the grass paddock behind as well.
Dee settled in almost immediately and was extra thrilled when she explored her little patio and discovered she can say hi to her neighbors. She flirted hard with the older gelding next door, and was instant besties with the 9yo mare on the other side. Of course, there was lots of squealing on Dee’s part, but she seems so happy.
Flirting to her left,groomies on the right
When I got there Tuesday afternoon, A happily informed me “She’s as happy than a pig in shit!” In true Deona fashion found one sharp edge to give herself a scrape on that blew up like a balloon on Tuesday, but now is just a really good scrape.
I swear it looks worse because it’s swollen
Until her meds come in, she is off work, and then will further be off work for 2 weeks to let the treatment work. Light groundwork is acceptable, but the goal is for her stomach to heal so when we do go back to work, she realizes that it doesn’t hurt as bad as it used to.
Right now, I’m working on her syringe practice as she is notoriously bad with it, especially if she thinks it contains meds. I’m going to start grinding up peppermints to mix with water too, and do it daily while we are medicating so she doesn’t think it’s always gross stuff in the tube.
A has also given me the green light to borrow her horses for riding and driving in the meantime so I can keep active while Dee goes through her treatment. I am continously blown away by her kindness, and how much support she gives to every one in her barn.
For now, it will be a smidge quiet on this front but my fingers are crossed tight it means we can get back to where we were and maybe make progress towards our driving goals and riding this year.
My last blog post was very depressing, so I apologize for not updating since then. It will most likely be a doozy of a post and image-heavy, as it’s been a month since my last post.
DJ and I spent a week or so playing with the TRT Method before his departure on his summer adventure. There was some major success in playing with parts, and others, not so much. Weirdly enough, asking my horse to walk behind me a solid 5 feet was a huge confidence booster for her, but it doesn’t always stick. One night while watching me work, A made the comment that we both have trouble staying away from each other and out of each other’s space. I agreed wholeheartedly.
Dee got very little work leading up to and after DJ left on his summer adventure, which I think was the “in” I needed.
To be fully truthful, Dearest Reader, I think DJ and I both were trying to crush as much as we could into the month of June, and it was too much for Dee. I want to say it’s not a failure on either of our parts, because I don’t think it was. Sometimes Dee needs that constant work. I think about last October, and I worked with her daily in some capacity for three weeks straight in the indoor just to keep her brain cell from exploding, and it was successful. So in a way, we did what had worked before. I didn’t realize that I was setting an incredibly high expectation of her without giving her room to breathe, on a very short timeline.
As of right now, my goal is to get a relaxed horse. Which is hard, as I keep picking on my own performance like the goal is perfection, but we are getting there.
Since the beginning of July, the round pen has become our best friend. I’m happy to report we’re pretty much back to full work in there. There were some snaffus at the start (cough Deona spooking, falling on her face, and stepping on her own heel), but I am happy to report she is quite relaxed in there, which, again, is the main goal.
Heel grabWorst of the swelling on the same leg from crashing; 24/7 turnout kept it from being a massive balloon, which was nice
I almost want to complain she’s lollygagging in the round pen, and too slow, but then I remember we spent the entire month of June begging her to slow down, and I bite my tongue.
You can see the little bit of haze from the wildfires in this photo
I’ve also dabbled with some ground driving; more success has been found closer to the barn than farther away. I discovered she is not a huge fan of chickens the other day when I decided to ground drive to the cones field, and thought cutting through the trails would be more beneficial than starting a fight to walk past the pond. Again, I did not factor in having to walk past the chickens, but I don’t blame her for being fearful of birds that are related to dinosaurs.
I also chose to swap her to my single-jointed butterfly bit when it comes to long lining. Katie has been harping on me that Dee may prefer something with a little curb action for months, and again, she was right. Dee still blows through my aids in the jointed half cheek, and the Mullen half cheek is just too heavy or too straight for her. She still does a weird head jerk when we use it, so I just decided to nix it entirely, and this was my next option. The nice thing is I can loosen the curb, and then it acts more like a baucher if I don’t need the lightness with the curb. She seems quite pleased in it. I’d like to trial a mullen at some point, but again, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
A minor side note on bits: I’m debating trying to purchase a few baucher bits to try for riding, but at the moment that jointed half cheek is doing ok so I won’t mess with it. Katie tells me I can use the butterfly for riding, but I don’t know if I’m that brave. I still have my Agador’s Baucher I could play with, but I’m unsure if that’s worth testing again due to the last time I used it, Dee expressed her distaste loudly.
The other huge benefit to my long lining has been A and her insistence that I ride or drive her horses.
I’ve jumped on M a few times this month, which has been an absolute blast. It’s given me some confidence in the canter that I’ve been lacking for years, and she’s a quiet, solid horse. Well, I say solid and quiet; she reminds me a TON of Dee in terms of sometimes spooking at distractions, and they both find the giant rock out on the trails to be petrifying. The good news is her spooks are nowhere near the speed and velocity of Dee’s or L’s, so I find them fun.
Driving B has been the most time I have in the carriage, as he’s also A’s current favorite to drive. (He is also quickly becoming my favorite as well.) I find him helpful in the sense that I’m not constantly asking him to get off the forehand like M, and it forces me to be soft, as too harsh of a contact gets him all balled up and behind my hand. It also keeps me well aware of my rein length and managing where my hands and body need to be. He is also incredibly adjustable, going from teeny tiny trot to an easy 11mph trot down the trails (yes, we measured). He is who I end up driving the most through the obstacles if A has me schooling any of them.
I almost feel I can get sucked into micromanaging with M to get her forward and off the forehand, so having B to just make small adjustments and not need to make big corrections is great. But M is steady in the sense I can do pretty much anything with her, so it’s a great balance in the carriage. A and I spend most of our drives coaching each other, which we both have a blast with; me giving her confidence and her pushing me out of my comfort zone.
Riding finally has made a reappearance. I did climb aboard for my annual July 12th photo, and did an easy WTC both ways. Riding M on such a loose rein (leverage western bit) has made me more aware of my contact with the bit, and I’m taking advantage of the round pen time to work on my confidence riding without grabbing at Dee’s face.
If I want a horse that doesn’t require micromanagement, a lot of it will be working without me touching her to help her find that balance through her own speed management. It’s hard when said horse has a giant stride and feels like you cover ground in 3 seconds. I know a lot of it will be just letting her find her own speed to figure out her balance with me and without my help, and letting the round pen turn us is great for that.
July 12thJuly 26th
I spent very little time in the indoor at the beginning of the month, partially out of fear of being over-horsed, and also to find confidence elsewhere. We had done a few sessions of just hanging out and munching in there, and I made the change when I chose to turn her out for grass; she is turned out exclusively in the paddock beside the indoor.
It wasn’t until after I did that first turnout by the indoor that I started finding success. The time before that, we had an all-out fight over the left side of the arena, with both of us leaving frustrated and flustered. A few days later, I dragged her in there after a good round pen session, just to get video to show people the behaviors I was seeing when asking her to work in the ring.
First successful long line in the indoor in over a month
Of course, because I put the video camera up, she didn’t even show a single one of those bolting freezing behaviors we had in June. Dee actually almost ran into the wall because she was so busy looking out that left side, and didn’t even care about it. The right side, aka the driveway side, is now the evil side. I haven’t tested going past B for pure, “don’t F- it up” factor, but B is farther than I had a week before.
I have gotten a few more sessions in there in the lines since that first initial success, all equally successful. One day I just worked on the quiet walk that DJ and I had discussed. Another, she started out a little tense, but we were able to get a good walk trot out of the session. One evening I spent time letting her graze all around the driveway side, and I was glad to see she willingly let me drag her all around the pond and the areas I could safely bring her.
Shows the steepness of the left side, mountain goat momentNeck arch to the extreme at……the decoy coyote. Still sus but not as sus as the fake heron
Dee has also been on SmartCalm Ultra now for a month, and I am wondering if that is contributing to the success we’ve been having. I ended up pulling her off the MadBarn Visceral+, which I’m now questioning as the straw that added to her tension, and possibly because one of the ingredients was setting her off. We made the switch from UlcerEraser to Visceral+ for better gut health, but it’s plausible it’s the reason she got worse. I won’t complain; it was hard to get her to eat, and I don’t think she loved the taste.
Another thing coming up is that Dee is scheduled for a gastroscope to check for ulcers. I had tossed the idea around most of June if that has been our problem, or part of it at least. I think I mentioned DJ wasn’t convinced ulcers was a factor, but with how sensitive and reactive she has historically been, I can’t rule it out without a scope. I would rather sink the cost for a scope to know exactly how to treat it and know I did it right than try to band-aid it. Plus, she hates UlcerGard, so I’m not wasting that money until I know, or if I can get the newer prescription brand that tastes like apples.
A detail I’ve also noticed is our successful days in the indoor often correlate with overcast weather and the arena lights being on. (Excluding the day I timed our session poorly with a thunderstorm) Which is why she’s not only scheduled for a gastric scope, but the Donut will get her eyeballs checked as well. If I’m paying for the farm call, we might as well. I don’t know if we will find anything, but vision problems fit a lot of puzzle holes in this horse’s behavior. It doesn’t mean it’s the answer, but it is a plausible enough reason to check her eyes.
You can see how thrilled she is
The other plausible and incredibly likely answer is that she is just SUPER herd-bound. And it fits, she’s never been truly “alone”, and it always chases us in some way. I have some new reading to play around with that and see where that leads us, but it’s a thread to pull. While DJ is away, I’m hoping to make some progress with the other two instructors/trainers who visit on a regular basis, one a western horsemanship style and the other a dressage style, but that will all wait until the scope and we find out what we are dealing with medically.
“What the heckin is a red sock and why do I have to wear the hat??” – Dee
I honestly was going to break down the last two weeks of lessons into a few posts, and I still might, but the short of it is, we backslid. Hard.
I went from actively long lining my horse in a lesson at the beginning of the month, to a lesson where DJ took my horse and stood quietly at random places in the arena.
So, what happened?
Deona happened, really.
Claims innocence and is attempting to save us from demons and monsters
This is the same issue we’ve had every time we move. Part of the arena is evil, and I struggle to get her through it for a while. Either we get over it, or we don’t.
Our second barn, she never got over the back half of the arena while we were there, which I think may have been the beginning of it all, and I’ve never chased it down all the way until now. The last two barns, we kind of got over the scary spots, but it took time, and they always were the first place she would spook if she was going to spook. The fastest I was able to make progress was “The Battle at B“, but I never fully solved it, as it was always her go-to “AH!” spot.
It felt attainable and solvable when the scary spot is a smaller section of the ring. But now, the scary spot is just the whole arena. She balks, bolts, or spooks hard if asked to travel along either long side, and very badly along the far short side. I can’t hand walk her without her crowding into my space, trying to push me around the arena away from what she doesn’t want to do, or bolting ahead of me to get away. The entire time, you can feel the tension radiating off of her, and it doesn’t matter if it’s dead quiet at the barn, or a monsoon.
In a way, I can understand it. There are a lot of blind spots, it’s on a hill with a drop on one side, where you can’t see what is going on along the driveway below, the neighbors do weird-sounding things, or people park horse trailers and walk up the driveway and magically appear out of nowhere, it’s very bright outside and then darker inside. A lot of reasons to make an arena scary or nerve-racking.
Part of me was just hoping it was maybe just a case of 7-year-old teen angst. We’d just keep working her through it, and she’d figure it out and move on. Not so the case.
Dear Reader: I have 8 blisters on my hands and one chunk off my ring finger, in various stages of healing, from sessions where I neglected to grab gloves, if that tells you something about how this month has gone.
I’ll be honest: it’s been incredibly discouraging to spend a whole month with DJ, with goals of getting this horse closer to driving, only to spend it working on trying to work in the indoor without losing her marbles. Don’t get me wrong – I think this month has been worth the money, but it’s frustrating. I told Katie and Becca that I almost don’t feel that Dee and I are worth his time, but we keep scheduling lessons, so clearly he’s still fine with us as clients and wants to help.
DJ and I have tried a lot to address her indoor tension. We tried every method, theory, and process in his book to work her through the stress. Focusing on quiet walking only went so far, so we added trot work because a quiet walk wasn’t happening, and finally just doing a bajillion-and-one random transitions. I even spent 4 days going twice a day to tie her in the “scary” part of the arena to see if that made a difference. She was dead quiet wherever I tied her after 2 sessions, until I walked out of an acceptable range to her (about 30 feet), and then she would get worried.
The only thing she seems to do well in the indoor repeatedly is ground tie. I’m not sure why that is the one thing she does reliably well, but part of me is glad I spent the hours I have on it.
During another lesson, he told me he didn’t expect me to have all the tools he’s been pulling out of his pockets, as they aren’t really tools I would need to learn and learn well, unless I decided to take up horse training. DJ has incredibly fast reaction speed from years of doing this, and he doesn’t expect me to have that. Hopefully, I shouldn’t need some of the tools he has in his toolbox; it’s good to be aware of them, but unless I am a trainer, I shouldn’t need them. (I love horses, but learned very quickly that I am not training material for a multitude of reasons.)
Without being harsh, he explained it to me like this (paraphrased) – “You are a level 2 long liner/driver. This is a level 7 boss horse. You are getting steamrolled by a boss character you don’t have the XP or the upgrades to fight.” Essentially, a green horse, green driver kind of situation.
It’s almost comforting in a way. I’m not sure exactly how to explain it without it sounding bad, but I’m almost glad that it’s not a “You suck!” moment; it’s a “hey, she’s being a very, very difficult horse in this moment of her training and of course you are struggling because this is leagues above your education.”
In a long, roundabout way, I am not always the problem; Dee is just a really tough horse sometimes.
And you might say, “Anna, why not just ignore the indoor and not use it?”
A few reasons. I live in New England, and the weather is unpredictable and weird, and not utilizing the space would be a waste of my money in a way. I do want to ride her again at some point, and being enclosed is a smidge safer. And if we do get around to hitching her to a carriage, we want to do it in a space big enough for the carriage, but enclosed for safety. Right now, the indoor is my only option for that.
At the moment, our current observation is that she is truly worried/nervous about those sides of the ring. If she were trying to get out of work, she would come down or get better with more work. When we do add more work, she tends to get more worried.
What is a struggle? It’s only in the indoor that we see this behavior escalate to the level it does.
In her paddock and the barn aisle, she’s her usual perfect self. Quiet and relaxed, and I can generally do anything unless there is a large external stimulus that warrants an obvious reaction (e.g., running a wood chipper).
Outside the barn aisle, I can get a semi-decent session in the round pen, the grass pen, and the grass arena. There is still tension the moment you walk out of the barn aisle, but not so much that it means she’s unworkable like she is in the indoor. I’ve noticed a lot more tension walking her around the arena, especially up and down past the trailers, but again not so bad it’s impossible.
We even ponied her off the carriage two Fridays ago, with great success. I left her in the cones field with another boarder holding her while we drove a quick loop around the trails, and came back to her perfectly quiet and content grazing.
We did have one semi-successful long lining session last Friday in the round pen. I put her into the round pen with her blinders on, and all we asked for was a walk and a trot. The round pen forced Dee to stay roughly within the same circle, so I could work on the connection without worrying about whether she was leaving it or trying to avoid a certain spot like the plague. It went well on Friday, but when I tried to rinse and repeat on Saturday, it failed epically, so it has been abandoned for now.
I forgot about one change we made in the last month. After a few lessons where Dee was blowing through every single one of DJ’s aids and almost leaning on the bit, we swapped to the Mullen mouth half-cheek I snagged at a consignment shop over the winter.
Helpfully – previous bit and current bit
It did help stop her from blasting past the rein aids; however, I feel like it’s almost too strong now after about a week and a half of use. Unintentionally, I think every time she has blown through and we correct, she is getting more and more reactive to it. I’m not sure whether it’s just a very heavy old bit or the straight bar Mullen shape isn’t right for her. Katie and I keep bouncing ideas, but right now, bit choice almost isn’t important.
The goal is to adjust a single variable at a time to see whether it helps or hurts the situation. That’s also frustrating because I think we’ve all felt we are on the brink of losing hope and are desperate for a magic wand to solve all our problems and put the horse back to where it was before it all fell to pieces. I want the horse I had back before I went to PA, where everything felt possible. But change too many variables too fast, and you can’t figure out what worked and what didn’t.
I did leave a voicemail with my vet, just checking in to see whether it’s something we should have medically evaluated. Like, is it ulcers, hormones, actual anxiety she would need some medical management for, etc. It could always be a medical variable, but I’m honestly leaning more towards what DJ said to me last week: “She’s listening to the voices in her head.”
My gut is thinking it’s a training sinkhole I’ve stumbled into. We’ve been dancing around the edge of it, but now we’ve fully fallen into it, and it’s why we’ve had to go screaming back to the basics and groundwork, because that’s where the hole most likely is. There is something there, whether it be a communication issue, a confidence issue, a “I didn’t explain it well,” or we moved on, assuming she got it and never did. Whatever it is, it has reared its ugly head something fierce.
The bad news of this whole month: DJ will be away until September, starting next week. Right now, we have a rough plan to keep testing some options before he’s gone to figure out what we’ll work on while he’s gone. I’m also going to try a supplement that someone at the barn suggested, keep waiting to hear back from my vet, and just go from there. One hoof in front of the other, right?
Truthfully, I am so excited to write that title, even if it’s a little weird, but it’s fine. We’re back in the driving groove! Due to hitting the ground running, I am so late, so I will break them up week to week, but it’s still a lot.
We have no media because it’s a very involved lesson lol
DJ returned late May to the farm, which meant Dee was back on the books to be tortured! Well, ok, not tortured. Deona has probably been the happiest to work in a long time, meeting me at the gate, and she seems very happy when she sees her harness come out.
In the first lesson, we started out by showing DJ where we were since our last lesson in the fall. I’ll be honest, Dear Reader, like I usually am. I was suddenly very nervous and lost a lot of confidence, and I could tell by my vocal cues that they had half the usual conviction. Dee, thankfully, was in much better form than she had been in the last few weeks, so at least I wasn’t chasing a bottle rocket across the arena, but she was doing her usual distracto pony schtick.
DJ kept quiet, offering only one suggestion when I changed rein to be steadier. I had been doing most of my circles with a very loose, if not barely there, contact, trying to give and let Dee relax and find the bit herself. And to also leave her alone as best I could. Track left, DJ did have to jump in to help as I was struggling in the last quarter of my circle to keep her focused and where she belonged.
By about 11:55 oclock on the circle, Dee was already shifting to look towards the barn and the pond, then by 10 oclock, I would ask her to stay out with my outside rein, where she’d bulge to the outside, and then by 8 oclock, she’d shift to look towards her paddock and then holding the outisde rein too much resulted in that resulted in the draaaaagggg to the outside she loves to do, and suddenly my circle has a random straight line towards C.
And much like all horses, they are very predictable, so this happened every time. The first change was to be more connected to the bit, and keep it steady, not throw away my contact. When I threw away my contact and added big loops to my lines, picking up the contact felt like punching Dee in the mouth. The next change was that DJ had me trying to be more proactive in my circle to stop the distraction. This meant asking her to be a little more on the outside of the circle before the center line, and activating my inside rein to keep her focus, and trying to coordinate my hand motion to the bit.
Because of the distance from my hands to her bit, I had to think well ahead to keep my timing accurate from 30 feet away vs. less than 2, and by watching the bit, I could start to learn the timing. He also nailed me for constantly using the reins. The whole point is to say what I need to say with the bit, and then be quiet, let her carry the bit. Because if I keep nagging, it means my signals have to get louder and louder to convey what I need, and then we’re in an all-out battle, whereas if I “just shut up”, I can be quieter and softer with my signals.
GJM used to nail me for Nibble Leg with L, and Katie is always reminding me to not nag, so it’s not a shock. Micromanaging riders make micromanaging horses, and my goal is to set my horse and leave it, making corrections only as needed.
Once we finally had success on that left circle track, DJ had me halt Dee and came into the circle to work with me on my own position. Side bar here, the entire time we worked on this, Dee didn’t move a hoof, and she was a solid 20 feet away, and at one point, the long lines were left on the ground. Clearly, my stand practice has been very efficient over the winter, and I was stupid proud of that.
DJ demonstrated two things to me while working on my position. The first is, if we need silence and steadiness in the face of a chaos pony, to bring the hands closer together. Try it yourself with some unwitting partner: have them put their hands on top of yours, and tell them to make as much noise with their arms as they can. While they do so, follow with yours, but slowly bring them closer together. If you do it right, it’s obvious when the motion keeps them from going hog wild while still following.
So tired after lesson 2
The other thing was to work on my following. DJ had me put my arm in his hands, and ” Let your arm drop, don’t put any weight in it, let me move the arm.” My Dearest Reader, this was the hardest thing to do. Because even when I thought I was relinquishing all control, I still was instinctively using my muscles to follow where he pulled or pushed my arms, and resisting slightly. To the point it felt ridiculous, what do you mean my arm isn’t dead weight when I’m telling it to? He reassured me this was kind of normal, especially as a rider, we spend years putting our bodies right where they are supposed to, we forget how to let go and move with the horse.
But this is what he wanted to show me: that by resisting the motion in my hands and arms, I’m almost baiting Dee to start a tug of war, which she will win all day long. If I want to stop accidentally punching her in the mouth and teach her to carry the bit herself, I need to be softer and follow the bit instead of trying to muscle it.
After this, he took the reins to check in with Dee. I was a little glad to see she still tried the same tricks on him, but with all his years of long-lining and driving, his timing is light-years faster than mine, so he caught her trying to pull shit much faster than I could. DJ had me put my hands over his a few times to really feel how light and soft his connection to the bit was, and to watch how each rein activation affected the bit. The goal is to get the bit where you need it, and the horse has to follow in a way, so how can I get the bit and therefore my horse, to the outside? How can I get her to stay on the circle but keep her attention?
After a while (I could not have told you how long that lesson took; I lost track of all time), Dee started to soften and keep a quiet rhythm. The first goal was to establish rhythm so we could achieve relaxation, then proceed to connection and straightness. He explained that you can’t achieve relaxation without some form of rhythm, and it doesn’t mean speed in gait, but a rhythm between the horse and you. If her nose is counterflexed? Eh, not a huge deal right now, as the bigger fish to fry is rhythm and relaxation; we can fix straightness after we have a good connection and the previous two.
We also discussed why he had Dee on a bigger circle, as the distance allowed dampening on the reins as it took a little longer to reach her, and it wasn’t as sharp as if I was right beside her. Plus, she needed to stay on the outside of the circle away from me, as she has a habit of drifting in.
My horse? Magnetic and slowly drifting to the inside of the circle if no one tells her otherwise? Nooooooooo. (Dear reader, that was pure sarcasm, fueled by hours of briefly glancing away and back and suddenly having miles of slack in my reins) Then he handed her back.
Again, after years of driving and long lining, DJ makes it all look SO EASY. Putting it all back together was really hard, but we were able to get a solid few trot circles of a consistent, quiet, relaxed Donut Pony. DJ mentioned that, as I untacked, he could tell we had put the work in, because if you videoed the first ten minutes and the last ten minutes of my lesson, they were two very different places, and to make that progress was fantastic. We chatted about goals, knowing that we only had a month, and I said, “Let’s just see as far as we get and go from there.”
I don’t want to put a timeline on my horse, and try to get her hitched in a month, because then that puts us under pressure. Maybe we hitch her, maybe we just drag heavy things, maybe we don’t even get there. I would like to say I’m in no rush, because part of me is DYING to drive her, but I don’t want to rush it and make an error. So, we planned a loose, Wednesday-Thursday lesson that week and decided to go from there.
On Tuesday, I had time to myself to experiment with what we had learned, and it was great but tough. Reminding myself to be soft was hard, and my sneaky right arm was doing its weird thing again. I was incredibly pleased to find myself fully immersed in it, to the point where I blinked and realized an hour had passed. Someone had left up cones for an exercise, so I used those as points to steer Dee to and keep her where I wanted her to be, not where she thought she could glue herself to.
Legit my new favorite photo
On Wednesday, we planned to do ground driving and long lining, and go between. Because the cones and poles were left up, we were forced to work in the scary half of the arena.
If you look very closely, you can see the arena sitting above the road
Without photos, it’s hard to show, but the arena itself is raised on one half as everything slopes down towards the field. The far side of the ring, A, has a pretty big drop below it, and there is a road you can’t see anyone on between the height and the rail; it’s a bit spooky. Everyone has problems with it, but Dee has decided that the whole end is scary and is now her demon of convenience.
Please remember this for later; it becomes a bigger issue I’ve been circling with Dee for YEARS.
I started out very hard in my hands that lesson, which was hard not to when Dee decided to toss every single evasion to avoid the scary spots she could. The goal was to get the quietest walk we could to show her that we don’t need to start at Mach 10 out of the gate, and then keep the quiet connection into the trot. It highlighted my weird right shoulder weakness/imbalance when we went to trot. DJ reminded me that if it feels uneven, bring my hands close together to find neural to help find my outside rein again.
After we did some trot work, we went to ground driving. Which kinda made me feel like a beginner again, as I had to keep up just enough not to have Dee dragging us around, but also not too fast that she sped up and started dragging me along. It’s a fine line to find that walk that’s not too energetic but also not too slow. I did better track left for some odd reason, and track right I struggled to keep up and keep in my place.
And then the demons of convenience returned, and DJ ended up stepping in and taking over. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but DJ has a little scooter/segway due to limited mobility. He ended up stepping on that to ground drive Dee, which she was like “UM NO THANK YOU.” to start, but he took none of her excuses, so she got over it very quickly. I was a teeny bit jealous as he could keep up with her a smidge easier than I could.
The nice thing about it, was when Dee pulled a spook, bolt that turned her almost around on him, he just adjusted her without moving his position. I had done a little bit of a loop-de-loop to follow her when she’d spooked, and then tried to go help her when she got a tail over the rein. He pointed out that I needed to hold my ground more and help her less. “I can’t adjust that fast like you can, and you won’t be able to adjust like that in the carriage, so it’s better to stand where you are and fix her than chase her all over creation.”
We kept going until we got a quiet walk, and called it quits. He pointed out to me that, in the end, he probably should have called it quits 5 minutes before we actually did, but he got greedy, tried to push for a little more, and ended up having to fix another spook. There is a very fine line of ending before it goes to even more shit, and pushing the envelope, and I struggle with it on a daily basis.
It’s that, “I would rather end on a good note, but it’s that fear of not pushing enough that we get stuck in the same hole forever.”
We also discussed my position, which he didn’t fully call out that lesson, but I tend to do the trainer lean. You know the one, where you glance over, and your trainer has their head cocked to the outside as they follow you around the arena? No good when I am long-lining or ground-driving, and my shoulders aren’t even.
Thursday’s lesson was more focused on just ground driving. When I took the lines, DJ said to me, “The main goal today is a quiet walk, the secondary goal is a quiet connection.” We started with a long-lining circle, and once that was quiet and relaxed, we moved on to ground driving. If at any point she got distracted, squirrely, or tense, I put her right on a little 10m circle around me until she got back to that quiet walk, and then we would go back to ground driving.
We ended the lesson at half an hour, as in DJ’s words: “Get in, and Get the F Out.” We both wanted to keep going, but on a day like that one, where we got everything we wanted quickly, we ended it to give her a good experience. And I think it was perfect for her brain because she stood like a rock to be untacked and looked very pleased with herself.
We achieved a quiet walk both ways and a little bit of ground driving done on Friday, which I took at face value and got out while I could. Then Sunday was a little bit of a doozy. I decided to try and ride first, and then long line after because I had the whole day. It did not go well.
I’m not sure if it was the wind, something up her butt, or what, but she walked in tense and tight. And then I swung on, and she immediately began backing up and would not go forward. This is where I was a little dumb. I’ve assumed she’s lost some weight/muscle tone with the move and mostly long lining, so I decided to pull the saddle and hop on bareback. Again, Dear Reader, she got a bath on Friday. I did about 15-20 minutes of very tense circles with constant changes of direction, just trying to get her head in the game, when Dee decided the trailers were no longer approved, did a drop-the-shoulder spin, and I landed in the dirt.
Texted these photos with no context to Katie and Becca, and had THE funniest text exchange of my life
Thankfully, I just landed hard on my butt, but I was a little frustrated. I swung back on for a few more minutes before calling it done and kicking her back out for about an hour. I tried again in the long lines, which went a little better, but not by much. After struggling to get a quiet walk, and one big bolt after a neighbor started a lawnmower, I decided to just let her trot to see if I could find a quieter connection in the trot to go back to walk. Which worked!
I also had picked up some pool noodles on DJ’s suggestion, “if” we got to adding shafts into the equation, that’s where he wanted to start. I pulled those out on Sunday just to make sure that if we did get there, she wouldn’t be weird about them and set us back. Safe to say, she didn’t care.
Unamoosed with my shennanigans
That afternoon, I ended up helping DJ set up the dressage court, and then got to tag along with his evening session with his horse. I ended up in the grooms seat, which not always an easy spot to watch the reins, but I think it was super helpful in terms of just watching how soft DJ’s hands had to be to deliver what he was looking for.
A big goal moving forward after that week was finding that softer connection through less movement by my own hands. Being quieter means I can be more direct in my reinsmanship and more intentional. Consistency brings clarity, and I feel like we’ve been bouncing around like two drunks when it comes to contact with the bit, horse, and human.
Because of all of that, Dee and I easily get into fighting matches over contact. Becca pointed out that we fight like sisters: one of us doesn’t respond, the other pokes, and it turns into an all-out poking battle. Well, not a poking battle, much worse in some cases.
I am still slowly working on my lesson post from last week’s lessons and will combine it with this week’s. It’s been a lot, but a lot of good stuff. But a little photo dump to show you that we are still alive and doing some big-kid things!
“Ok, now what??”“Does this carriage make my butt look big?““This is so weird I’m supposed to follow the wheely thing?”
“Hey does that lady have her license??”
so peaceful“HOLY SHIT THE FOUNTAIN TURNED OFF RUN AWAY”mid head shake photo opHi momstanding in scary cornersso tired, and we hadn’t even started yetvery offended I had to spray her face off because she was that sweaty
To be truthful, when I initially wrote this post, we were in a BIG downward slump. I spent most of May working on just getting Dee comfortable with where we had moved to and getting used to the day-to-day life. A lot of my sessions either ended in massive battles or were spent literally doing nothing. It is incredibly frustrating to go from what felt like some of our best work to screeching in reverse, but that is horses for you. One day, it’s perfectly fine, and the next, you feel like you went back to the dark ages.
How I left her pre-NJ trip
I feel like there are a lot of positives, but as a neurodivergent individual, I found myself hyperfocusing on the negatives.
“I’m sorry you want me to do what???”
So let’s list out the positives to show my brain that we are making progress.
Dee has not gotten away from me, loose, or hurt herself since moving (minus the scratch from day 1)
She has been very well behaved in the barn and on the cross ties
Tacking up isn’t that bad
We’ve had two rides since moving, and I stayed on the whole ride
First official real trail ride with other horses
Rode up and down the little hazard hill, and only almost came off because she got too excited going down it
Successfully introduced her to water without getting jumped on or run over (we did take out 2 plants on the bank)
Long lined through the water
I’ve been able to manage all her silliness
Ground drove past the pond without giving in to the temper tantrum.
Stood tied to the wash rack for a quick leg bath
Stood tied for her farrier appt, and also was very well behaved for it with me present (historically she is worse if I am there)
“Mom why are you hiding behind the stall??”
I can never tell with this horse if she’s lacking confidence, experience, or just afraid. My gut says most of it is a lack of confidence, some fear of the new, and a bit of feeling overwhelmed by the new settings. Plus, add the fact she has pony ADHD, aka Nosy Wench Disorder (said lovingly), so having a busier place means she’s quickly distracted. (Note, I don’t see this as a negative thing because, as a mare, I expect this behavior to a degree, but it’s when she tries to take me out because she has to know what’s going on, I have a problem.)
I’m betting if I go back in my blog posts, I’ll see the same thing every time we’ve moved. I can think of how miserable October was, but I know part of that came from poor equipment fit, a new place, and the loss of Demon Pony. I think I need to give both of us more grace than I have been.
First successful attempt of long lining throughZooming through at a trot without me, and I accidentally clotheslined her with my outside rein
And the benefit of moving where we are is that there is a lot of stuff that happens on a regular basis, chaos, and change, so she has to learn to roll with the punches. And in a way, so do I. She seems the most unsettled by horses trucking in, which happens often. I still don’t understand why seeing horse trailers sets her on edge so much, but I’m glad her paddock faces out towards the trailer parking where she can see everything going on.
a very quickly grabbed photo for evidence that we made it out on the trails
I think she is enjoying being around more horses, as I see she’s seeming happier in turnout. 24/7 turnout has always been her favorite, so I’m glad I can offer that for her. Horses coming and going doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest which is great.
Grass field zoomiesBoingartistic recreation, done by a friend, of Dee being abducted by aliens
I do need to figure out the best play for her in terms of hay. Right now, she’s quite literally pounding away the hay. Before, she rarely finished her hay nets, but I’m wondering if she’s now burning more calories being out 24/7, or if she’s relaxed enough to keep eating.
I ordered her a panel feeder for her haychix nets, but I’m torn on what size hole to put up. I have a 13/4 holed net and an 11/4 holed net. The smaller net seemed to frustrate her, but it definitely slowed her down. The 1 3/4 net was better, but she still finishes that net well before the next feeding. Maybe we do a flake in the half-bale net, hang it, put hay the slow feed with the panel feeder, and see how that does.
Hmmm weird-shaped boxgetting very good at smile
The very cool thing is that A has been really welcoming in terms of sharing her horses. I did mention I was going to get more cone practice this summer, and she was fully on top of that promise. One Friday, I got there early, and she went, “Perfect timing! You can drive the pony, and the Barn Manager can drive P.”
So, I got to drive the pony! It was still a bit of a learning curve again, remembering all the buttons, and I’m still struggling hardcore with my right side overall (hello, weird, weak right arm connection), but I had a blast. We bombed around the dressage arena before taking the trails to the cones field, and I got to bomb around there, too. The pony has THE best canter, and I had no fear urging him right up to a canter to zoom around the cones. The cones were set incredibly wide, so I had no problem zooming through them at any speed. Then we zipped over to the obstacles. I did a few basic passes through the obstacles (no gates were set up, so it was just kinda set-your-own-course), and then we finished out the trail loop.
After, she told me I could borrow him anytime she wasn’t driving him, and I was excited about that. Having a steady eddy to drive and learn on between him, P, and M, this summer will be lots of fun.
I’m also discovering there are so many people who come in to teach, as well as people with a lot of experience to help us, and I feel a little overwhelmed by all the options. Right now, the plan for June is just driving. But after June, I’m excited to see what we can play with.
DJ returned last week, and I’m incredibly excited to see how far we get with Dee this month. I’m not sure exactly how many lessons we will get in, but at this point, anything is better than nothing to me. After June, I’m not certain what his plans will be. Just like the fall, we’ll just see how far she gets with the time we have with DJ, and then go from there.
Ground tying like a queen this session. The next time I worked her, I couldn’t even get her to stand still.
Part of me is itching to get Dee hitched, and the other part of me knows that we need to take our time. Before this whole separation anxiety thing went down, I was pretty confident we could do it this summer. Katie had visited after my April trip to help us out for the few days she was available (still need to post that WHOOPS). We had played with a PVC travois, and it had gone so well. Now, after that meltdown, I feel like I have to spend time getting her acclimated to where we are, and then maybe we can return to the idea of pulling things.
I keep reminding myself we aren’t back to square one; square one was not understanding anything. This is more like we lost a whole semester of school, but still frustrating. I have to keep reminding myself she’s only 7, mentally more like 5 most days, and sheltered. After meeting all the new people, I’ve found the best way to describe her in the fewest words possible is: a sheltered golden retriever with low confidence.
June 2023May 2026Which, btw, happy 3rd gotcha day Donut
I’m hopeful that just getting into a groove will help, and it seems we have more people to help us. It’s also odd to ask for help after a whole winter of white-knuckle soloing, most of the time, and doing a lot by myself. But we will make it work. It isn’t about the instant result; it’s a journey, and it’s one day at a time.
Guys. I waited mostly to get the photos from Becca to write this post, but I did it. First-ever driving CT, completed.
Now, was it my best attempt? Probably not, but we got out there and did the thing, so I felt I earned points there.
I headed out early on Friday to try and beat the NYC traffic. Spoiler alert: I still got stuck in a ton of traffic. I still beat the girls to USET, so I plopped down with the secretary to volunteer. I ended up jabbering, swapping horse stories, and helping get organized while waiting for the Pony Van to arrive.
Bee telling me of the atrocities she had to endure (a bath)
When the queen herself did arrive, Katie and I headed up to go walk cones, which was my first time walking cones, and all of a sudden I got pretty nervous. The nice thing about ADS shows vs. USEF is that the cones are numbered, making it easy to see where you are going. But I had never done anything like it with Bee, let alone any other horse, so my brain was on the fritz.
We walked it a few times before Becca met us at the top of the hill with Bee to school a bit before the first competitors’ meeting. My fear of forgetting how to turn was quickly resolved after a few laps with Bee, and then I handed the reins to Katie. She took a few laps, and then we ended up unhooking to walk back down the steep hills to try and save some of Bee’s energy.
After the meeting, we decided we’d walk the marathon course for the first time to get a sense of what everything looked like. By that point, I’d bounced back a little and gained what the girls like to call my “Feral Cat Energy”.
Climbing obstacles is a pattern for me, it seems
It was great for me to walk the obstacles with Katie, as last year I was too overwhelmed to really understand how the course walks worked, and this time I had a much better grasp of them. I was kind of excited to bounce ideas off Katie as I walked them with her and get her thoughts and ideas of paths to take.
Creek crossing to the Foxes Den
If you didn’t know, USET hosted the 1993 World Championship for driving pairs. Many of the obstacles aren’t up to snuff, but the Gladstone Driving Association has been working hard to bring them back to life, and this year, one was restored for use! The Foxes Den was obstacle 4 for this DT.
Filling out the safety survey and asking if she knows how to drive
The biggest concern for Katie and Bee was the creek crossing, as water is Bee’s number one enemy (aside from pigeons, balls and grazing muzzles). We weren’t sure whether the last obstacle would have water, as when we walked it on Friday, it was bone dry, but the creek crossing was the number one concern on Friday night.
I also had a personal vendetta against obstacle 2, as it had a lot of options. This course designer is known for his habit of options, so there were a few obstacles with multiple B and C gates, or a gate where it didn’t matter which direction you went through. The importance of walking the course vs the map is that not every single gate line up with what you walk, so while this looks simple on the map, it didn’t feel simple walking it.
After course walking, Katie braided Bee while Becca and I scrubbed the carriage and harness for the next morning, before we bundled ourselves into the car to head to the hotel.
Braids all set
Next morning, Katie and I headed right up to the cones course to walk it one more time.
Me trying to remember aim for the outside cone
The good news is I had memorized my dressage test a week ago, so that wasn’t my worry. My biggest worry was knocking a ball. Ironically enough, I completely forgot about the fact that there is an optimal time for cones,
Then it was time to get dressed and get ready to go. I have included a photo of the fit. Thrifted tank top, old blazer from my closet, a honeybee broach from an antique fair, and an apron from Martins Auction. Not too shabby for my first show outfit.
Schooling pre-test, I got nervous. To get up to the dressage ring at USET, you have to go up a steep hill and there isn’t much space to hang around before you are in the ring. We went up too early, and going charging up the hill got Bee up, and me nervous. Add both of those together, and suddenly my usually quiet Honeybee was not interested in standing around waiting. So I elected to go back down the hill and do donuts around the indoor until it was time.
Then we were in. I completely forgot how huge a large driving dressage ring is when you are driving a mini (100 m by 40 m; small is 80 m by 40 m). I really focused on forward and getting close to the boards this time. Unfortunately, there were still some miscommunications on my part, and Bee broke twice in the test, which I got back, but it was totally my fault. Our first circle felt right, but the second 40m circle definitely needed work to me. I also wish my center lines were a little straighter, but beggars can’t be choosers. We made it out alive, and the head judge thanked me for being so well turned out, which was a highlight!
“Wait, if my moms are there, and I’m here, who’s driving?!?!”
Then it was on to cones. Now, as a reminder, I’ve only ever driven this pony in an arena or a field. Never with cones present. So I was pretty shocked once we got into the cones course, and Bee locked onto the first set, and suddenly, I had a lot of power I’d never felt before. We had a bit of an argument, where I wanted to go slower, and Bee, smartly, told me, “NO WE GO FAST.”
Bee was a true saint, though, and at a few points, I ended up walking as I was so afraid to knock balls. We only ended up knocking one ball, which I was super happy with.
See those pricked ears? She meant business
What I didn’t realize was that there was an optimum time. And I was a full minute over. Oops, sorry, Bee, you were right.
well deserved scratchies for not taking out her Auntie Amma
Becca later told me she was happier I decided to pump the brakes and go slower with my first cones course. None of us were expecting me to go barrelling through, but as I was told later, sometimes it’s better to go fast and knock a ball or two than go slow and get time penalties.
We ended up with a 57 in dressage, and I won’t tell you what our cones score was, but it landed us a solid second place. I will be 100% truthful with you, Dearest Reader. I am really happy we didn’t get first place, as the other person in our division, this was her pony’s final show at 30 years old. I think going out with a bang is the perfect way to retire.
After my tests, Bee had a brief break before Katie’s classes. I submitted myself for volunteering, much to the secretary’s delight. She spent most of the day trying to get me to volunteer for the show in Vermont in August, which I’ve told her I’ll think about.
Katie’s tests were wonderful, and she was smart and did her cones the right way (cough, not a minute over Anna). This was their first time at the prelim level, so, like before, none of us were expecting to come home with blue ribbons, but the goal was to have a good time.
I managed to watch both her cones and dressage test before disappearing back to continue volunteering. While I got to sit and watch the rest of the day’s dressage tests, the girls borrowed my car to run a marathon again and, much to Katie’s dismay, discovered that the last obstacle had been filled with water.
After the last of the dressage had finished, I ended up flopping on a chair to reset my brain. We had about an hour and a half before the competitor’s dinner, and at one point Katie disappeared to walk marathon again. Before dinner started, they opened up the trophy room above the rotunda, which I have been DYING to see since last year.
view out the balcony
I got my scores and ribbon at dinner, and to my delight, I got my first 9.
It was for presentation, but still, it’s a 9.
After dinner, we went out on a marathon with a few others, including the chair of the show committee and his wife. I loved getting to walk the course with them, because I got a lot of details about the property and course from him, and I loved talking to his wife about her planned course for the next day. One of the biggest benefits of attending all these shows with Katie and Becca is I get so much more knowledge every time I go, and everyone is so willing to teach and explain.
The next morning dawned early for marathon. I had to make an emergency Starbucks run as our usual QuikTrip was closed. Honeybee was insistent that I share my breakfast with her, which I reminded her that chocolate is not an approved food for ponies.
Then it was time to head down to the Pine Meadow to hook up. We were going to do our usual parade of pony and car, until we remembered I needed the bike to chase Katie. And then the committee chair and his wife offered to tow the carriage in their 4-wheeler.
We had the funniest pony parade, with Becca on the electric bike with Bee, the 4-wheeler towing the carriage, and then Katie and me in my car. If you didn’t know, the USET historical farm is also host to a golf course….
Not shown, Katie and I playing bbno$ as loud as we dared
Once we got to the bottom, Katie hooked the cart, Becca took my car, and I took the bike to the start.
Ready for her favorite eventAnd they’re off!
We were a little concerned as it was getting warm fast, but Bee was pretty darn fit. I will be honest again Dear Reader, I can’t remember much other than dashing from obstacle to obstacle and cheering as loud as I could. They safely made it through the creek, through obstacle 4, and back out. Becca was in charge of footage from obstacles 2 and 5, and I was in charge of footage from 3, 4, and 6.
And then the dreaded water hazard. I think the overgrown grass really helped them out in teh end, as by the time Bee realized she was in the water, it was too late to back out.
I won’t forget everyone cheering for Katie as she made it through. That kind of support and willingness to cheer for everyone else is truly why I am so drawn to the sport, and maybe why I’m so drawn to the PA/NJ area. I was moved to tears, and Katie actually ended up sobbing the whole way to the end.
At the end, Bee and Katie got third for their first time out at prelim. The heat really impacted them on the course, but it hit everyone hard. The end goal was met: they completed their first run at prelim, made it through the water, didn’t go off course, didn’t make an error on an obstacle, and weren’t eliminated. It was a successful weekend for all just on that alone.
They are already scheming to see if they can get me to do the CT at Garden State in the fall. We’ll see, but it looks like I’ll have more practice with cones this summer than I thought.
I’ve honestly been trying to write my PA weekend write-up, but it is taking way longer than I wanted, and I’m missing some vital updates. So, I’m skipping ahead to current events to keep you, Dearest Reader, updated.
“Hello, I am a problem, but I am a cute problem, yes?”
Deona moved barns on Tuesday.
I had a lot of hope that moving GJM’s gelding to the barn was going to solve a lot of issues we were having with Dee’s separation anxiety. Aaand it didn’t.
He came home Sunday, the same day I came back from PA, and Dee was upset, to say the least. They had tried to leave the horses as they were, and Dee refused to let T anywhere near him. Which upset him, as Dee would keep T at the far end of the paddock, out of sight. So the girls got split up, and Dee wasn’t happy at the end, so she got put in the middle, where she was even angrier because she wanted nothing to do with this boy. So back to the back paddock she went.
And when T went to get worked, she was beside herself in her stall. Of course, this is when I arrived, and it got me spiraling. Thank God for Katie and her calm energy because Dee was wound up, feeding off me, and then I was feeding right back off her. Much like my own horse, I don’t do change very well, and when it’s an unexpected change, it really throws me off.
Doing a work session ended up helping a lot to bring her brain back. Monday, Katie was a wonderful friend, and ended up working with Dee herself that morning, and then hung around until I got to the barn after work. I was grateful for the double work session on Monday, and Dee has always been a horse who does better with a job and settles a little better after. The entire time Katie was there, Dee was quiet, maybe a little worried when T left to work, but not bad at all, as T was in the outdoor.
Tuesday, T went off farm, and Dee was locked in her stall. I peeked in on her a few times via the camera system to see her doing some serious pacing, but I put it off to maybe some stress over the gelding. The gelding wasn’t locked in, so he could come and go as he pleased, which I thought might be the issue, adding stress as she was stuck and he wasn’t.
She also could have cared less about the gelding at this point. I sat out in her paddock with her on Wednesday before working her, and she was fine.
Thursday was the issue day. I wasn’t there because of appointments, and around 4:30, I got a text. Dee had fallen in her stall and had some cuts and slices.
JM had taken T out to work her and left Dee to go in and out of her stall to her paddock. The only difference that day was that JM was going to the indoor. Based on where Dee had cuts and bruises and was sore, we think she panicked, reared up, and fell over in her stall when she saw T leaving. None of us can be totally sure, as JM had taken two steps in the opposite direction when it happened, and only managed to see Dee scramble to her feet.
Thankfully, fully sound, just sore and scraped up. As is typical with Dee and leg scrapes, her hind legs stocked up over the following days, and she was a little stiff on Saturday in the hock. However, this incident was the alarm bell warning I was afraid of.
The eyeball scrape, thankfully, she only scraped the eyelid not the eye itself. the scab flaked off recently, and she looks weird with a bald patch right on the lidScreenshot of leg scrapes from text thread with JM
Dearest reader, I will be fully honest here. It was never an “if” situation for me; it was a “when”. Of course, with my anxiety and overthinking, my “when” was a lot worse. I didn’t expect exactly this scenario, especially not with GJM’s gelding sitting quietly in his stall the entire time. But Dee has been incredibly attached to T for almost the whole winter, and I think we have been very lucky that it hadn’t happened sooner, and that it happened while JM was right there. My biggest fear was that Dee would hang herself on the gate, get stuck, or get hurt worse while no one was around.
All of this meant I was suddenly on a ticking clock to move her for her own safety. My first decision was to put her back on trazodone until she moved. No one wanted an encore of that moment, JM, me, or Dee.
The second was to call the owner of DJ’s barn.
The grass dressage ring – a full sized driving dressage court also fits out here
I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I had been considering taking Dee there for a month to save some money on trailering. I had reached out, but hadn’t heard back. I called the owner that night, let’s call her A, and I know I sounded panicked. Thankfully, they had a stall available, and I was out the next day to look at everything.
A has been wonderful, and I am so grateful to her and her staff, because I think I am the worst person when it comes to moving horses. Dee and I come with a little black book of baggage from weird things that have happened, and I am usually paranoid for the first week.
We moved on Tuesday to give Dee enough time to settle in before I have to head to New Jersey for Gladstone. She was in raging heat when we left, and spent most of her first afternoon teasing the surrounding geldings and flirting up a storm. The serious flirting resulted in her getting a superficial slice to her hip when she decided to tease the 4 yo next door.
Flirting with her newest boyfriend.
It comes with a mixed bag of emotions.
On the one hand, I feel incredibly guilty and sad that I had to take my horse out of JM’s care. At the end of the day, it is for her own safety and best interest, but I have always enjoyed and loved the care JM gives. She treats Dee like one of her own and understands how weird she can be. Plus, it was wonderful being at a small barn where I had the whole arena to myself.
On the other hand, I am excited. Moving Dee to DJ’s barn offers me a lot more opportunities; an easier time scheduling driving lessons with DJ, I’ve been told by A (with enough heads up) that I can borrow some of the schoolmasters for riding or driving, and a lot more opportunities with the range of clinics and disciplines offered. A is pretty excited to have another person to drive with this year. Not to mention the extensive, well-groomed trails that can be ridden or driven on. I plan to take full advantage, and I already started walking Dee out there.
Hand walking on the trails
Being where I am now presents a lot more challenges for me as a rider and driver, and a little more social interaction for both Dee and me. Change is hard, especially such a big change that happened in less than a week, but I hope this will be a good change for us both.
Little does she know, I shall be riding her out here and she’ll have to deal with it
It’s official, the T&T is the saddle for Dee (at the moment)!
“Mom, we don’t do PDA”
My saddle fitter was incredibly gracious to let us trial it for 2 weeks instead of 1, due to the family passing. The flocking did compress up front a little after ride 4, brought some of that tension back, and my pelvic tilt, but E was expecting it to do that. Adding one set of wool shims up front took my tense baby horse back to her chill draft-horse roots and me to a more level seat position. It was a little funny trying to explain it to GJM and JM; to them, they didn’t see an issue with my position at all, but I could feel it. Thankfully, we got that all squared away, and we are both much happier campers.
The nice thing about having a saddle again meant we got some progress in the canter. The solution to fixing that super bend to the inside was to take her in the field and canter as much as possible in an open space. It broke Dee’s brain the first time, because there was no wall to stick herself to, but she realized it was WAY more fun to charge up the very small hill.
A little on the front end but it’s hard to canter on grass with a momHappy girl
She truly loves riding out in the field, which I’m so grateful to see. Unfortunately, the bugs and gnats are out in full force, so field time is currently on hold.
I also got a lesson in with Trainer K! It was sorely needed in a lot of ways, but she spotted a lot of the improvements we’ve had over the winter. Her first comment was “Wow, she beefed up over the winter!” which I laughed at and agreed with. She also thought Dee was much straighter overall, and my position was way better.
We worked on balance, speed control nad really my position. Katie, Becca, and I talk a lot about how I tend to grab with my hands and try to oversteer/ride more off my hands. Dee has finally gotten fed up with this and is no longer giving me the benefit of the doubt.
One of my biggest struggles is turning off my seat and body and leaving my hands alone. TK explained hands are for speed control only right now, and following. The rest of my body is what will cue her to turn. Which is fine in the walk, a little harder in trot, and harder in the canter. She showed me an exercise to help with thigh rotation, and immediately I was aware of how much tighter my right hip flexors are vs my left.
The best part of the lesson came a little organically. I mentioned that I needed my lateral work explained in a way that I had never done it before. When I rode L, Lord love him, his lateral work was its own version of dressage. He had always struggled with it, so we had to teach him our way, not the way most horses are taught or most riders. TK hummed and went, “I had someone explain it this way. Imagine there are garage doors over each side of your hips, and if you want the horse to go one way, think about opening that garage door and let the car drive out.”
While she was talking, I started playing with it, and lo and behold, Dee did a perfect leg yield, then proceeded to turn on the haunches just off my seat. My jaw was on the floor. Katie, when she watched the footage back, laughed and said, “You looked like Toothless when he learned he could fly again.”
Spot the difference
The canter is still a major WIP inside. Dee loves to suck herself to the walls for some reason, which makes it much more nerve-wracking. The whole hips aren’t mobile enough to help turn, angry baby horse, Anna grabs, panic, and SPEED. TK theorizes that I am leaning forward just a smidge, enough that I’m unintentionally encouraging her to move forward, which is why she runs so much at times. The goal is to get her slowing down more in the canter, like the trot, where I can do a loose rein trot.
Right now, if I have to 2-point it, that’s fine. I think it also makes sure I’m not in the way, and I’ll have to test-run it all back out in the field when the bugs aren’t too bad. It also means I really have to lock in on my own fitness this summer. I’m not very good at keeping up with personal fitness, but it will help my position and my horse a lot more if I can unlock my hips a little more.
poor quality screen grab of one of the best moments
We took Dee to my favorite sport horse vet last week. I’ve been fighting that front toe-first landing since day 1, so I thought, let’s have the best take a look. It was also 1 year since her disaster of a trim, so it was time for new rads anyway.
Truthfully, I was very nervous bringing her. First, because I was technically opening a layer of Pandora’s Nest Boxes by having a lameness vet take a look at my horse. Secondly, would she behave?
I had nothing to worry about. Aside from being a little nosey, she was perfect for jogging, lunging, and flexions. Plus, no demons of conscience made appearances, which I was grateful for. The last thing I wanted was for her to take out any vet techs. They absolutely loved her, and the result was, “She’s sound, comfortable, and in no pain. Maybe a little less aware of her feet than most, especially in the canter, but nothing too concerning.”
She got her radiographs, which showed we could now really attack that left front. The concern has been that for the longest time, she hasn’t grown enough sole, and these X-rays showed she’s grown a TON since last May. My farrier was very pleased to see the changes and how much growth she’s had.
Plus, the vet told me he could see her succeed as a CDE horse, definitely understood where Katie and Becca said “She’s a driving horse,” and could see her eating up on marathon. This is the first time someone outside of the driving world has told me that, so I couldn’t help the giant smile I had the rest of the day.
Love this shot
Speaking of driving, we’ve been doing less than I’d like, but trialing a new riding saddle took precedence over her driving goals over the last few weeks.
The newer driving saddle came back, along with the shorter turnback and adjusted bridle. The bridle looked perfect, and the turnback is the perfect length. I’m still torn on the driving saddle, but I know a lot of the issues will be corrected when actually physically driving instead of long lining, and it may need some time to break in.
The bad news about a better turnback was that it highlighted the breeching strap now seems a smidge too small. Not by much, but just enough, it might be an issue later on, as it’s pulling the hip straps back.
I will be bringing it back in person as I head to PA tomorrow for the carriage auction. And I get to pick up my purple harness hanger :)
I’m crossing my fingers that we make a lot of progress towards her eventual first hitch this summer. It is looking like we probably won’t get DJ the whole summer like I’d hoped, but we will make what we can work with the time we have. I knew it was a possibility given his schedule, but getting confirmation was a bit tough. I’m hoping we can get as far as I can by myself and utilize him for the major stuff when he can. I may hunt around for someone who can do it as well later on in the summer, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get close. Now that her riding saddle fits, we can slide back to driving prep.
We had our first false summer/spring glimpse last week, temps in the sunny 60s and 70s. The ponies all appreciated a week of no blankets, but as New England always does, we’re back to miserable, damp 50s and wind. I had hoped to send all my blankets out for cleaning, but alas, no such luck just yet. The girls are back to their sunshine naps, which I love to see. Dee took full advantage of being naked to get as gross as possible, and I am dying for the first official tubby of the season.
sleepycarcass timeside eye mid rolldust bowl ponydon’t le the shine fool you, if you patted her butt dust went flyingmisc dump because it doesn’t belong anywhere else
We will be getting another resident, to my relief. GJM is bringing her gelding home, bringing the total number of creatures living on the farm to 3. T will still be the oldest on the property, as he is only 5, coming 6, but I’m hopeful that having a third horse will mean Dee will be a little less on his guard. It also means she should relax a little more when T goes away for shows or trail rides.
We’ve been doing some rearranging to set up the third stall, and he’ll probably come home next week. But for now, Dee will have a full 4 days off, and then she’s in trouble because it will be mini driving boot camp when I get back.
